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Home > Articles > Mercury Muse > Suburbs No Longer Going to the Dogs
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 Suburbs No Longer Going to the Dogs
Another urban legend bites the dust. Recent reports of feral dog packs roaming the neighborhoods, upsetting garbage cans and scaring local pets have actually turned out to be a small gang of preteens pumped up on rap music and trying to cover the fact that they steal hubcaps. The trouble is, they had no way of fencing the stolen items in "criminal-free" Motorburg. They were finally caught by an alert mom who went in to clean her boy’s room only to find two dozen Dodge Lancer, Olds Fiesta and Starfire "flippers" under junior’s bed. Her son immediately turned States Evidence, and after a "scared straight" episode with the local police, the boys all vowed to "grow up and get right." |
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