 
|
|
Home > Articles > Mercury Muse > Pole Cat turns out to be Tweety Bird
|
Pole Cat turns out to be Tweety Bird
KruzIn Park officials were puzzled today when they found a new Ford Thunderbird perched up on telephone wires near the Park's Zoo. After much work with the phone company’s "basket boom", Park Ranger Willy Wavemthru was able to check the VIN number and ascertain the owner. It came as a shock that this newly donated Bird had been plucked from the local Historicar Auto Museum warehouse the previous night. The 2004 Ford Thunderbird was in storage awaiting a board vote on whether it was worthy of inclusion as a permanent Museum exhibit. Weldon D. Tales, Museum Curator, when pressed for comment, said that any decision on the matter would be put on hold. Mayor Moe Burger, a member of the Museum acceptance committee and owner of the local dealership responsible for the donation, could not be reached for comment. His staff indicated that he was in Wyoming hunting Bald Eagles for the Zoo's new "Wild & Free" bird exhibit. After turning the Ranger's findings over to the Motorburg Constables for further investigation, authorities found a dead turkey occupying the vacant parking spot that the T-bird had been in. A typewritten note was discovered under the smelly fowl that read, "The Blunderbird has flown the coop. It has gone where the wild goose goes. Since it deserves to be strung up, we hope you’ll leave it be. This bland and underpowered retro-phoney is not worthy of museum recognition. Let the glorious mid-fifties T-Bird remain the King." It was signed, "The Winged Revenger". Investigators are currently searching town records for anyone with access to a crane. When our local Thunderbird Construction Company was contacted and pressed for comment, an unidentified representative told reporters, "I heard it flew up there, but we know better. It ain’t got enough horsepower to do that." Anyone with information that may help solve this total mystery is urged to call in their "wing tips" to local police. The "snitchline" has been automated, so just ask for the "Bird on a Wire Retro-flyer Quagmire" at the "chirp". |
 |
|
|
|
